Cure #16: "Looking for Mr. Goodbar":
The Lust Cure
What is Lust?
Lust is a signal from your
Physical (Matter) Body
that that you are putting too much attention on the "animal desires" that
"come along" with human flesh. In other words, if you are a glutton for
sex, food, alcohol, money, power, or any other "material" things, you are
in lust. One of the goals of being a spiritual being in a human body is
to be "in this world but not of it"… not of it's "baser material desires".
Emotions Closely Related to Lust:
Qualities Need to Resolve Lust:
Love, Discrimination, Purity, Clarity
Physical (Matter) Body,
What is Lust Trying to Tell You (It's Spiritual Purpose)?
The spiritual purpose of Lust is to powerfully pull us toward learning
any "uncompleted lessons of the flesh". For it is these uncompleted
lessons that reveal the unresolved spiritual issues that we have as spiritual
beings. Lurking beneath the surface of our "lustful desires" are the
illusions of fear that keep us on the wheel of reincarnation and karma
until we learn to be free of them. This is an essential part of our
unfoldment into greater levels of mastery. For we learn to master life
(health, relationship, finances, work, etc) so that we can evolve into
How NOT to Respond to Lust:
The worst thing you can
do is to give into your lusts. Lust is never ending waves of desire that
wash over you and threaten to "pull you down". The only way to truly
master lust is to channel it's power to serve you (like a surfer who rides
the waves) instead of struggling against it. And the only way to channel
it is by understanding "what lies beneath" it.
For "as you let go of the security of your
insecurity (of your desires), all things are possible." (Aliah)
How TO Respond to Lust - The Lust Cure:
The way to
respond to lust is to understand the unresolved spiritual issues that
lie beneath the "uncontrollable" lustful desire and take steps to heal
the issue. Below are some of the more commonly experienced lusts along
with the underlying spiritual issues and their "cure". These cures include:
Channeling Physical Lusts,
Channeling Mental Lusts
Channeling Emotional Lusts.
Physical Lust - Food Addiction:
Normally, food is
relaxing and comforting to the body because food gives life and support
to the body. Problems result when food is routinely used to soothe and
comfort the spirit. If you are
more than 25% over the normal weight for
your height and frame, chances are excellent
that you are addicted to food. Yet "throwing down" more food to make you feel
"less empty inside" only temporarily alleviates the feeling while giving you
permanent fat gain.
Food addiction tells you clearly and simply that what you are
really "lusting for" is love… romantic, intimate love. And in our youth
oriented, looks conscious society, the surest way to repel potential
romantic partners is to be overweight. So look deep inside yourself for
the patterns in your consciousness keeping your fat in place (see
"Weight Cure") and
choose to honor your body instead of larding it with fat.
* Physical Lust - Alcohol Addiction:
Alcohol is any
beverage that when consumed is designed to make you "drunk". Yes, beer
and wine coolers are alcohol. And, yes, any beverage with alcohol content
can and does lead to alcoholism. Each and every bottle of alcohol should
come with this warning label.
"WARNING: For those
who are unable to experience joy normally, the contents of this bottle will
seem to make you feel joy. Harmful side effects include loss of family, friends,
self respect, and money, death of "innocent" drivers on the road, temporary
and permanent impairment of mental and physical functioning… so be sure to
drink up and enjoy!"
drunks are seeking at the bottom of the bottle is joy but the "lust for joy"
cannot be quenched by alcohol. In fact, alcoholism is a joyless
existence. For alcohol works to strip you of everyone and everything
that is meaningful to you in your life. It is a very harsh master that
requires total and absolute obedience from it's servants. So put down
the bottle and look all around you, for joy is to be found everywhere:
in child's smile, in the warmth of a spring day, in the banquet of all life.
* Physical Lust - Drug Addiction:
Drugs are anything that can be used to "alter" state
of body and mind. Make no mistake: tobacco is a drug and smoking is drug
addiction, caffeine is a drug and 12 or more cups of coffee a day is drug
addiction, prescription medicines and/or herbals are drugs and, when
used in excess of recommended dosages, are also drug addictions.
caffeine, and "meds" are drugs that are in far more common use than those
that are commonly thought of as drugs (marijuana, cocaine, heroin, ecstasy,
etc). When you use any drugs to medicate your body and mind away, you are
disrespecting yourself at the very deepest level. When you cannot control
your "lust for drugs", it is because you do not really feel "good enough" as you
So you reach for your drug of choice to "enhance yourself" as in
"I'm no good until I have had my morning coffee, etc". So ask yourself,
why am I not "good enough as God made me"… for that is the real problem here.
For when you are good enough, there is no need to medicate yourself into
being "something more".
* Physical Lust - Body Control Addiction:
There are few
in the world who are completely satisfied with the appearance or the
functioning of their bodies and minds (this includes models who are
perhaps the least satisfied group). Most think of body control
addicts as those who have
and/or engage in
self injury. Yet the
addiction to cosmetic surgery (face lifts, liposuction, implants, tattoos),
fad dieting (pills, injections, stomach stapling), performance enhancers
(pep pills, steroids, ginko) and other forms of body control is often just
What these all have is common is the "lust for approval" from
others. When others approve of us, we can feel less "bad" about ourselves.
Yet this begs the real issue which is why do you feel bad about yourself
in the first place? For those who feel truly good about themselves inside
can allow themselves some flaws. The truth is that people are as comfortable
with you only the same degree that you are comfortable with yourself. Approve
of yourself and others will too.
Mental Lust - Workaholism:
Workaholism is a hard lust to overcome because it is
powerfully rewarded. Work hard and you get raises, promotions, bonuses,
recognition, and constant daily approval for most of your waking hours. Yet,
workaholics are often the least effective workers… because they devote most
of their time to work, they have no incentive to be efficient. And they tend
to abuse those who do not share their addiction. Worst, because they refuse to
honor their body and mind's natural need for rest, they tend to be walking cases
Those who "lust after work" are working hardest of all
to avoid the problems in their life. Poor health, bad marriages, problem
children, spiralling debt… all can be forgotten when "buried in work". The
only way they will deal with the problems is when they begin to intrude on
the "safe haven" at work. And one day work will end and life will still be
waiting for them. So, workaholics, this message is for you: look up from
your desk today, right now, before your whole life has passed you by.
Mental Lust - Shopaholism:
Closely related to workaholism
is shopaholism where people put so much attention on shopping that they
literally "shop until they drop". The compulsion to acquire and hoard
underlies the need for compulsive shopping. Unlike workaholics, shopaholics
spend rather than make money so when it runs out either they must stop or
resort to crime to continue their obsession.
The "lust after things" is
another form of "I am not good enough (things are needed to make me feel
good)" and "I have empty places inside me (things are needed to fill up
the empty spaces)". To handle feelings of not being good enough, see the
"Drug Lust Cure". To handle interior emptiness, see the "Food Lust Cure".
* Mental Lust - Abuse to Control:
"Let two people be alone together and in the
space of an hour, one will always emerge as the 'superior'." (Chesterfield)
When one assumes the "superior"
position, there is always the potential for them to "abuse to control"
those in the "inferior" position. Those who do "abuse to control" are
almost always themselves the victims of others abusing them earlier in
Instead of channeling their anger over the earlier abuse,
they simply pass it on. The only way to cure the "lust to abuse" syndrome
is for the "abuser" to fully reconnect with their own memories of the pain
they suffered when they were "abused". Until they do, they will just
perpetuate their own abusive behaviors.
* Mental Lust - Stalking:
Stalking - putting your time
and attention physically, mentally, and emotionally on another person -
is the ultimate form of the "lust for self denial". Focusing totally on
another person is the surest way not to have to look at the problems in
your own life. Stalking is never random: the stalker chooses their
"victim" because, at heart, their "victim" has qualities which the stalker
would like to have but does not have (such as beauty, power, status, money, etc).
Instead of the stalker spending their time in illegally tracking
their "victim", their time would be better spent in deciding what it is
about their "victim" that they admire and truly want to have for themselves.
Getting "whatever 'it' is" for themselves - instead of wasting time harassing
someone else - is what will cure the "lust for stalking" that otherwise
keeps them always hunting for what they lack.
* Emotional Lust - Extreme Sports:
Most who routinely
engage in "extreme sports" have a very hard time believing that they too
are drug addicts. Physically, they are addicted to the adrenaline rush
that comes from the very real risks to their life posed by their "sports".
Mentally, they are addicted to the thrill that comes from "living on the
edge" of death. Emotionally, they are the most addicted to the need to
"feel something". Risk sports generate the same raw intensity of
emotion as in found in war. Every moment becomes precious.
Senses become ultra heightened.
The pulse of life is felt
so thoroughly and vividly as to make every other moment dull by comparison.
What "adrenaline" addicts must face is that if they are "bored" in "regular
life", it is because they are boring. And if they are boring and unable
to feel anything, why is that? The answer to this question is only the
cure for extreme sports lust. The truth is that every moment - dull or
extraordinary - is alive with possibilities that can be enjoyed without
an adrenaline haze. Extreme sporters are usually too "busy" creating and
recovering from injuries to notice this.
* Emotional Lust - Gambling:
Closely related to the
addiction to extreme sports is the addiction to gambling. Gamblers live
on the choppy seas of their own emotions as they gamble their money and
often their lives on the next roll of the dice, the next hand of cards,
or the next swing of the stock market.
Just look at the "sports pit" and
you will see a group of totally focused individuals who are as intense
and joyless as the most reckless of day traders. Like the extreme sporter,
gamblers are addicted to the physical adrenaline rush of victory-defeat,
the mental rush of living dangerously, and the emotional rush that the
uncertainty of the final "win-or-lose" outcome brings.
often claim to do what they do because it is easy money and the lazy way
to "earn" it. The truth is their lust drives gamblers put in longer hours
often - for the majority of them - for less payoff than if they worked
less at "an honest living". Gamblers, like extreme sporters, need to look
inside for the cure to their lust.
* Emotional Lust - Hackers & Grifters:
Hackers - those
who create viruses or infiltrate computer systems with the intention of
destroying them - and grifters - those who live by playing "confidence
games" - are both just gamblers who are playing for higher stakes. Hackers
gamble by killing computer systems while grifters gamble by killing their
victims financially and often physically at the end of the game.
The gambler's cure would work for them but they are so deep
into their own mental rationalizations that they are usually incapable of
looking within. For those "burned" by hackers and grifters know this…
their own internal torture is greater than any punishment you could inflict
on them. For it is their own internal sense of worthlessness that they
are seeking to hide by victimizing others.
* Emotional Lust - Adventure Sex:
Those who perhaps feel
the most unworthy of all are those who treat their bodies like trash by
having adventure sex. Adventure sex is undertaken for the "thrill" of it
as in anonymous sex with strangers who are likely to have sexually
transmitted diseases, sex in public places where the risk of arrest is
real, excessive use of or participation in pornography, and so on.
Underneath the adventure sex is the insatiable need for the "unloved"
child to receive the attention - never received from significant others -
from sex partners in a very dramatic manner. The only cure for the "adventure
sex lust" is love. The adventurer needs to look deep inside and connect
with their own worthiness to be loved for those who respect themselves are
not able to trash their bodies.