Rules #5a: "From I to We": Spiritually Based Intimate Relationships
Tired of the Games? Want to Know the Truth?
Forget all you have been taught about "The Rules" (about how women trap men) and "The Code" (about how men trap women). If you want a spiritual, loving, intimate relationship, then here are the rules you should follow.
These are the 12 "I's" that create truly lasting, harmonious, and successful "We's".
1> INDIVIDUAL EXCELLENCE
Both partners are individually strong and whole. The partners are together primarily because they want to be together (sharing strength) rather than needing to be together (overcoming weakness).
Both partners act honestly and honorably toward one another at all times. Each partner always has the other's best interests at heart and demonstrates their love by actions consistent with words.
Both partners give to each other what is easy and natural for them to give because their relationship is very important to each one. Both partners share the deepest love and respect for one another.
4> IN LOVE MODE
Both partners continually express their affection in one of the "Five Languages of Love": Words of Love, Gifts of Devotion, Acts of Service, Sharing of Quality Time, and Intimate Physical Touch.
Both partners feel that they need one another. Both partners feel that they are extraordinarily lucky to be in the relationship. Both partners feel privileged to be making their journey together through life.
Both partners agree on the space and time that is necessary for each to pursue individual interests. As each partner honors their own uniqueness, that in turn strengthens their relationship.
Both partners are constantly communicating and genuinely enjoy sharing every aspect of life. The communication is open, honest, and free flowing. There are no secrets (well, no important ones).
Both partners make a lasting and sincere commitment to one another. Each invests their time, their love, and their heart in the other. This investment is made willingly and returns great "dividends".
Both partners are joined at many levels. This integration includes constant sharing of leisure time, sharing of living space, sharing of money, sharing of tasks, and, of course, sharing of love.
Both partners have "instituted" a formal commitment to one another. This formal institutionalization is usually marriage but can be a "common law" arrangement or a contract governing living together.
Both partners must feel at home in each other's hearts. This means that each partner must feel and must be completely safe and comfortable in "letting their hair down" around the other.
12> IN MOTION
Both partners must treat their relationship like a garden: it must be nurtured and fed constantly. Problems must be rooted out immediately. New items should be added periodically for spice and variety.
Credits: adapted from the Course in Joint Ventures and Strategic Alliances: "8 I's that Create Successful WE'"s, from "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman, and channeled information.
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Past & Now Forward Holistic Counseling,