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"The Karma News" by Past Forward, Past Life Healing

"The Karma News" is a FREE E-zine from Past Forward, Past Life Healing, of Marlton, NJ, USA. Prepared for friends, clients, and opt-in subscribers of Read by the spiritually aware and karmically minded world wide.

IN THIS ISSUE: This Month's Theme - Grief

1) Good Karma Health Tip: "Grief is a Process: How It Works"
2) Good Karma Prosperity Tip: "Prospering in a Grieving Economy"
3) Good Karma Relationship Tip: "Moving On With Your Life After Loss"
4) Featured Page on the Site: "Managing Change and Transition"
5) Karma in the News: "9/11 Children's Grief Counseling"
6) Karma at the Movies: "Paralyzing Power of Grief: Guarding Tess"
7) The Abundant Universe, Inspirational Quote, & Good Deed for the Month

"Grief is a Process: How It Works"

Grief is the normal and natural reaction to any kind of loss. It is the nature of the human experience, that at in each life we will feel loss and must learn how to deal with it. Like a snowflake, no two processes of grieving will be exactly alike. Since grief is a very personal experience, no one should tell you how to grieve. This is partly why grief remains one of the most misunderstood emotions.

Yet the process of grief follows a familiar pattern. Recognizing it is the key to moving through the grief process... to get beyond it. Elizabeth Kubler Ross outlined this in the "Five Stages of Grief".

The first stage is
DENIAL... where we refuse to believe we have suffered a loss... as in pretending that the loved one is still alive or doing what we always did with them or keeping things just as the loved one would have wanted. The danger of the denial stage is that people can remain in it for a long time... even for the rest of their lives. Until we recognize our loss, we cannot grieve it.

The second stage is
ANGER... where we blame ourselves or others for our loss... as in becoming easily upset, overly emotional, or "not like ourselves". The danger of the anger stage is that anger can motivate people to do things they cannot take back... as in injuring others or themselves... which they would not have done ordinarily.

The third stage is
BARGAINING... where we try to offer something to "take away" the reality of what has happened... as in making a deal with God, doing "good works" as "penance", doing a task our loved one wanted us to do, or doing whatever will keep us connected. The danger of the bargaining stage is that people can remain in it for a long time... even for the rest of their lives. Until we realize our loss was beyond our control, we will keep on bargaining.

The fourth stage is
DEPRESSION... where we realize that all we have done has failed to bring our loved back and so we "give up"... as in feeling helpless and hopeless, feeling guilty and "at fault", and feeling there is no purpose or joy to life anymore. The danger of the depression stage is that hopelessness can keep people from doing things they need to do... as in failing to take care of others or themselves... which they would not have done ordinarily.

The fifth stage is
ACCEPTANCE... where we realize that life must go on... Here is where you finally accept your loss. You should now be able to regain your energy and goals for the future. It may take some time to get here but you will. If you have not accepted your grief, then look at the previous four steps. You are likely stuck in one of them. Figure out where you are... and do your best to move on.

For how to move on, see the below Good Karma Relationship Tip: "Moving On With Your Life After Loss".

"Prospering in a Grieving Economy"

Perhaps the greatest damage done by the 9/11 terror attacks was to the world's economy. Since that day, the gloom mongers have been in their glory: predicting downturns, layoffs, and a recession that have begun manifesting into reality. This "fear factor", fueled by the media, will mean a dismal financial landscape for some time to come.

And yet, during tough economic times, there will always be those who find the opportunities for financial growth and success. Just as during times of prosperity, there will always be those who will remain financially challenged despite an abundance of "easy money".

Regardless of the external financial landscape, the finances you will experience are those you create in your internal landscapes of thoughts, beliefs, and emotions about money.

Unfortunately, when most people experience loss, such as in the death of a loved one or the loss of a job, their finances suffer right along with them. Sometimes people will find it easier to feel the emotions associated with financial discomfort than with grief. So they will make unsound money decisions: like paying outrageous sums for funerals, making lavish gifts to grieving loved ones, or just "throwing away" their money in ways they would not do normally.

The best thing you can do in a grieving economy is to recognize the grief and fear without giving into it or focusing on it. Worry is a manifestation of fear linking to negatively outpicturing what you think will happen in the future. When you find yourself worrying, stop and create a POSITIVE picture of what you want to have happen.

Remember that you create what you put your attention on... so put your attention on DESIRABLE results instead of unwanted outcomes.

Other great strategies you can follow in a grieving economy are to:

* Pay attention to your money. Knowing where you stand financially and planning your spending will keep you feeling in control on your life. Too often people ignore their bills... until it is too late and they have impaired their credit or jeopardized their assets.

* Plan your spending. Start consciously choosing what you will and will not spend your money on. This will cut down on impulse purchases that are draining more money then you realize. Sticking to your plan will help you feel more in control of your life.

* Plan your saving. If you are not saving, start. If you are saving, put it where you can be comfortable. If you are worried about the economy, then invest where there is low risk and stable returns. Having a cushion of savings is a great investment in peace of mind.

* Plan your future. To manifest a positive future, this brings by investing in positive thoughts and emotions. For your life to move in a positive direction, your thoughts and emotions have to be positive at least 51% of the time. It is must easier to be positive when you take action to create the future you desire. For example, if you fear being laid off, start looking for another job or find a business opportunity leading to self employment instead of waiting for the axe to fall.

Remember that you are the creator of your universe. As such, you have as abundant choices available to you. The only thing that can keep you from achieving financial freedom and security is losing you faith in it and your focus on it. In a grieving economy, it does not have to be more difficult, it just may seem to be so.

How it seems to you is a perception which you can control to create the reality that you desire. Remember the old Ferengi saying: "Peace is good for business, war is good for business"... if you believe it!

"Moving On With Your Life After Loss"

Terese Rondo's "6-R Processes of Grief" gives an excellent model of how to move on with your life after you have passed through the "Five Stages of Grief". The first process - "Recognize the Loss" - overlaps the "Five Stages" in that it is the same as "Acceptance". Recognizing the loss means that you have accepted it... without further denying it, becoming angry or depressed, or bargaining.

The second process -
"React to the separation" - means that you need to do something acknowledge the loss in a tangible way. This includes dealing with the possessions of departed loved ones like giving them to those who could use them or storing away things you intend to use later. It also involves rearranging their space in ways that serve your life without them better. It means recognizing your separation from them by talking about it with others.

The third process -
"Recollect and re-experience the deceased and the relationship" - means that you need to do something to honor their memory. This includes talking about memories of happy times you shared with them without initiating a fresh bout of grief. It can mean keeping their picture in a special place of honor or doing some happy thing on an anniversary you shared with them.

The fourth process -
"Relinquish the old attachments to the deceased and the old ways of life" - means that you should not continue to "do things as you have always done them just as if the loved one had not died". This means doing different things at holiday time with other people to establish new traditions. This involves going to different places that you "used to go" with your departed loved one. Just because your departed loved one did something a certain way should not mean that is the only way they can ever be done.

The fifth process -
"Readjust to move adaptively into the new ways of life without forgetting the old" - means that you should move on with life, remembering the best of the past without letting it control your future. If you do the same things with an new loved one as you did with the old one, be sure to stay present with your new love. This means you should not constantly be discussing the past... you should focus on enjoying the present with the your loved one.

The sixth process -
"Re-invest in Life" - means that life marches on and you must live life now. This means finding the power in the present moment. Do what brings you joy. Be happy with what you have gotten. Nurture the love you have in your life now.

There is no greater gift you can give to a lost loved one than to show your love for them by living your life now to the fullest. When you are living life fully, you will know that you have truly moved on.

"Managing Change and Transition"

Change is like a shark in the ocean. Change never stops, never sleeps: it must always keep moving. The good news is if you hate the way things are, they will change. The bad news is if you love the way things are, they are certain to change as well.

The only thing inevitable about life is change, not death. Change is here to stay! If you think that change is always easy, take the Change Challenge. Pick up a pen and write your name with the hand you usually write with (easy, right?). Now try it with your other hand (not so easy, is it?). Welcome to the "World of Change"...

In the process of change, it is important to realize the difference between change ("what has happened to us") and transition ("how we adjust to what has happened to us"). Change is an external event while transition is our internal response to the external event.

Change is the natural state of the universe. Death is only a change: moving us from a state of physical being into a state of non-physical being. While we are yet in life, we are constantly in a state of change. We grow, then we age. Our cells die off and replace themselves. We live, we learn. We work ourselves from darkness to light, from negative to positive, from karma to dharma. We do it all over again.

Given that change can always be expected, it is a sound strategy to learn how to deal with transitions between "what we are used to" (our past state - the old cycle) and "what we will become used to" (our future state - the new cycle). The featured page on the site will walk you through these steps of transition and offer ways for you to cope with any of the changes you are facing.

It is a loving and compassionate universe that we live in… for it gives us infinite chances to learn as we work through our karma. Know that all will be well with a change and it will be!

"9/11 Children's Grief Counseling"

The past is still present even in the present day news.

From ABC News: "Irene Boehm is convinced 'outsiders' have no idea what the widows of Sept. 11 are going through... 'Who did I piss off in heaven?' she asked ABCNEWS. 'What did I do to somebody in
SOME OTHER LIFE that this is what I ended up with?' If not for her two children, Boehm says, she wouldn't have gotten out of bed on Sept. 12. Thousands of families like the Boehms were left sorting through their anguish and confusion after the terrorist attacks."

"In an effort to aid the distraught survivors, New York Governor George Pataki set up free group-counseling sessions through his 'Project Liberty' program to ensure that families weren't left to journey through the grief process alone... Grief counseling brings together people struggling to deal with similar traumas and experiences, so they may learn from one another. Each session allows the families to discuss their private thoughts and feelings, those they've kept inside because others won't understand."

"Though their own anguish runs deep, what these women really worry about is how Sept. 11 has affected their children... Providing a safe place for the children to express their sorrow is the main goal of the guidance center and the therapists who facilitate each session. Through yoga, singing songs and playing games, the therapists help the children release their stress and anguish."

What was remarkable about this program was the focus on actively assisting the grieving process. The program assumed that time does not heal, rather it is what those who grieve do in that time which heals. By helping both adults and children to take responsibility for their recovery, it unfolded more rapidly and harmoniously when compared to the unassisted process following other major disasters.

For the whole story from ABC News: "Love and Loss: Victims’ Families Face Grief With Inspiring Resolve" by Eric Salat.

"Paralyzing Power of Grief: Guarding Tess"

The movie opens with Secret Service agent Doug Chesnic leaving his assignment of three years: guarding former First Lady, Tess Carlisle. To the public, who loved both her and her late husband, Tess is regarded as national treasure. To those who share her private life, she is a domineering, patronizing woman who micro manages her now shrunken domain with the same gusto as she used to run the White House and the country behind the scenes.

Tess still gets what Tess wants: she wants Chesnic back and pulls strings in Washington to get him back. Dutifully, Doug returns but with a new mission: to run things "by the book" from now on... hoping that will convince Tess to let him go. Their battle of wills comes to an abrupt climax when Tess throws the entire Secret Service detail out of her house. After a personal call from the President, Doug becomes reconciled to his position and he makes peace with Tess.

The peace proves short lived. When Tess is kidnapped on Doug's watch, he and his team seem headed for unemployment. Then Doug solves the mystery behind her disappearance. Once he and his team locate and rescue Tess does Doug earn the respect of both the government and (finally) the former First Lady herself.

From a spiritual standpoint, this movie is a perfect portrayal of the paralyzing power of grief. Tess spends much of her time watching videos of the glory days of her husband's Presidency or preserving newspaper and magazine articles about those times.

The big event in her life is dedicating the new wing of her husband's Presidential Library. The house is kept quiet as if she is still in mourning. Nothing is changed in the house and everything is perfectly preserved just as if her husband would be returning one day.

Putting so much attention on death, Tess finally manifests her own. When she tells Doug upon his return that "she has an inoperable brain tumor", she does it in such a way that he takes it as a joke. Only when she is kidnapped, does Doug learn it was no laughing matter.

This rings true in "real life" as cancer is often the price that people must pay for ignoring the present by putting too much attention on the past by being a "dead person walking".

Many times people, like Tess, cannot put their grief behind them because it serves to keep them connected to the loved one who has gone. That is a false illusion... for what connects us to our loved ones is love and not grief. No one who loves you wants your tears.

Remember, in the words of Spencer Johnson, "yesterday is history, tommorrow is a mystery, and today is a present... cherish the gift."

Gotta pay my web fees... so please read on!

Special Thanks to Clients from Exotic Places:

Thanks to those who helped to support our holistic business this month. God Bless America and Canada... North America is our home and the source of most of our wonderful clients to whom we are grateful for supporting our work. Special thanks to international customers for their support this month.

Inspirational Quote for the Month:

"Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by,
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile, and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through, if you...

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear maybe ever so near
That is when you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile."

(Charlie Chaplin from his song "Smile")

Good Deed for the Month: is "an Internet community of persons dealing with grief, death, and major loss with 47 e-mail support groups and two web sites. Our integrated approach to on-line grief support provides help to people working through loss and grief issues of many kinds. The companion site, KIDSAID, provides a safe environment for kids and their parents to find information and ask questions."

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Please note: Our subscriber list is NOT made available to other companies for any reason. We value each and every one of our subscribers and their privacy!

Please let us know if there are additional topics you would like us to cover in upcoming issues to help you on your journey through life.- Ellen

PS: Thank you SO MUCH for your referrals! We continue to get new clients as a result of your kind words to friends and associates. Thank you!

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