"The Karma News" by Past Forward, Past Life Healing
"The Karma News"
is a FREE E-zine from Past Forward, Past Life
Healing, of Marlton, NJ, USA. Prepared for friends, clients, and opt-in subscribers
Read by the spiritually aware and karmically minded world wide.
Grief is the normal and natural reaction to any kind of loss. It is the
nature of the human experience, that at in each life we will feel loss
and must learn how to deal with it. Like a snowflake, no two processes
of grieving will be exactly alike. Since grief is a very personal experience,
no one should tell you how to grieve. This is partly why grief remains one
of the most misunderstood emotions.
Yet the process of grief follows a familiar pattern. Recognizing
it is the key to moving through the grief process... to get beyond it.
Elizabeth Kubler Ross outlined this in the "Five Stages of Grief".
The first stage is
DENIAL... where we refuse to believe we have
suffered a loss... as in pretending that the loved one is still alive or
doing what we always did with them or keeping things just as the loved one
would have wanted. The danger of the denial stage is that people can remain
in it for a long time... even for the rest of their lives. Until we
recognize our loss, we cannot grieve it.
The second stage is
ANGER... where we blame ourselves or others
for our loss... as in becoming easily upset, overly emotional, or "not like
ourselves". The danger of the anger stage is that anger can motivate people
to do things they cannot take back... as in injuring others or themselves...
which they would not have done ordinarily.
The third stage is
BARGAINING... where we try to offer something to
"take away" the reality of what has happened... as in making a deal with God,
doing "good works" as "penance", doing a task our loved one wanted us to do,
or doing whatever will keep us connected. The danger of the bargaining stage
is that people can remain in it for a long time... even for the rest of their
lives. Until we realize our loss was beyond our control, we will keep on
The fourth stage is
DEPRESSION... where we realize that all we have
done has failed to bring our loved back and so we "give up"... as in feeling
helpless and hopeless, feeling guilty and "at fault", and feeling there is
no purpose or joy to life anymore. The danger of the depression stage is that
hopelessness can keep people from doing things they need to do... as in
failing to take care of others or themselves... which they would not have
The fifth stage is
ACCEPTANCE... where we realize that life must
go on... Here is where you finally accept your loss. You should now be
able to regain your energy and goals for the future. It may take some time
to get here but you will. If you have not accepted your grief, then look
at the previous four steps. You are likely stuck in one of them. Figure
out where you are... and do your best to move on.
For how to move on, see the below Good Karma Relationship Tip:
"Moving On With Your Life After Loss".
Perhaps the greatest damage done by the 9/11 terror attacks was to the
world's economy. Since that day, the gloom mongers have been in their
glory: predicting downturns, layoffs, and a recession that have begun
manifesting into reality. This "fear factor", fueled by the media, will
mean a dismal financial landscape for some time to come.
And yet, during tough economic times, there will always be those
who find the opportunities for financial growth and success. Just as
during times of prosperity, there will always be those who will remain
financially challenged despite an abundance of "easy money".
of the external financial landscape, the finances you will experience are
those you create in your internal landscapes of thoughts, beliefs, and
emotions about money.
Unfortunately, when most people experience loss, such as in the
death of a loved one or the loss of a job, their finances suffer right
along with them. Sometimes people will find it easier to feel the emotions
associated with financial discomfort than with grief. So they will make
unsound money decisions: like paying outrageous sums for funerals, making
lavish gifts to grieving loved ones, or just "throwing away" their money
in ways they would not do normally.
The best thing you can do in a grieving economy is to recognize
the grief and fear without giving into it or focusing on it. Worry is a
manifestation of fear linking to negatively outpicturing what you think
will happen in the future. When you find yourself worrying, stop and
create a POSITIVE picture of what you want to have happen.
you create what you put your attention on... so put your attention on
DESIRABLE results instead of unwanted outcomes.
Other great strategies you can follow in a grieving economy are to:
* Pay attention to your money.
Knowing where you stand financially
and planning your spending will keep you feeling in control on your life.
Too often people ignore their bills... until it is too late and they have
impaired their credit or jeopardized their assets.
* Plan your spending.
Start consciously choosing what you will and
will not spend your money on. This will cut down on impulse purchases that
are draining more money then you realize. Sticking to your plan will help
you feel more in control of your life.
* Plan your saving.
If you are not saving, start. If you are saving,
put it where you can be comfortable. If you are worried about the economy,
then invest where there is low risk and stable returns. Having a cushion of
savings is a great investment in peace of mind.
* Plan your future.
To manifest a positive future, this brings by
investing in positive thoughts and emotions. For your life to move in a
positive direction, your thoughts and emotions have to be positive at least
51% of the time. It is must easier to be positive when you take action to
create the future you desire. For example, if you fear being laid off,
start looking for another job or find a business opportunity leading to
self employment instead of waiting for the axe to fall.
Remember that you are the creator of your universe. As such, you
have as abundant choices available to you. The only thing that can keep
you from achieving financial freedom and security is losing you faith in
it and your focus on it. In a grieving economy, it does not have to be more
difficult, it just may seem to be so.
How it seems to you is a perception
which you can control to create the reality that you desire. Remember the
old Ferengi saying: "Peace is good for business, war is good for business"...
if you believe it!
Terese Rondo's "6-R Processes of Grief" gives an excellent model of how
to move on with your life after you have passed through the "Five Stages
of Grief". The first process - "Recognize
the Loss" - overlaps the "Five
Stages" in that it is the same as "Acceptance". Recognizing the loss means
that you have accepted it... without further denying it, becoming angry or
depressed, or bargaining.
The second process - "React to the
separation" - means that you
need to do something acknowledge the loss in a tangible way. This includes
dealing with the possessions of departed loved ones like giving them to
those who could use them or storing away things you intend to use later.
It also involves rearranging their space in ways that serve your life
without them better. It means recognizing your separation from them by
talking about it with others.
The third process - "Recollect and
re-experience the deceased and the relationship" - means that you need to do something to honor their memory.
This includes talking about memories of happy times you shared with them
without initiating a fresh bout of grief. It can mean keeping their picture
in a special place of honor or doing some happy thing on an anniversary
you shared with them.
The fourth process - "Relinquish the old attachments to the deceased
and the old ways of life" - means that you should not continue to "do things
as you have always done them just as if the loved one had not died". This
means doing different things at holiday time with other people to establish
new traditions. This involves going to different places that you "used to
go" with your departed loved one. Just because your departed loved one did
something a certain way should not mean that is the only way they can ever
The fifth process - "Readjust to move adaptively into the new ways
of life without forgetting the old" - means that you should move on with
life, remembering the best of the past without letting it control your future.
If you do the same things with an new loved one as you did with the old one,
be sure to stay present with your new love. This means you should not
constantly be discussing the past... you should focus on enjoying the present
with the your loved one.
The sixth process - "Re-invest in
Life" - means that life marches
on and you must live life now. This means finding the power in the present
moment. Do what brings you joy. Be happy with what you have gotten.
Nurture the love you have in your life now.
There is no greater gift you
can give to a lost loved one than to show your love for them by living your
life now to the fullest. When you are living life fully, you will know that
you have truly moved on.
Change is like a shark in the ocean. Change never stops, never sleeps: it
must always keep moving. The good news is if you hate the way things are,
they will change. The bad news is if you love the way things are, they are
certain to change as well.
The only thing inevitable about life is change, not death. Change
is here to stay! If you think that change is always easy, take the Change
Challenge. Pick up a pen and write your name with the hand you usually write
with (easy, right?). Now try it with your other hand (not so easy, is it?).
Welcome to the "World of Change"...
In the process of change, it is important to realize the difference
between change ("what has happened to us") and transition ("how we adjust
to what has happened to us"). Change is an external event while transition
is our internal response to the external event.
Change is the natural state of the universe. Death is only a
change: moving us from a state of physical being into a state of non-physical
being. While we are yet in life, we are constantly in a state of change. We
grow, then we age. Our cells die off and replace themselves. We live, we
learn. We work ourselves from darkness to light, from negative to positive,
from karma to dharma. We do it all over again.
Given that change can always be expected, it is a sound strategy
to learn how to deal with transitions between "what we are used to" (our
past state - the old cycle) and "what we will become used to" (our future
state - the new cycle). The featured page on the site will walk you through
these steps of transition and offer ways for you to cope with any of the
changes you are facing.
It is a loving and compassionate universe that we live in… for it
gives us infinite chances to learn as we work through our karma. Know that
all will be well with a change and it will be!
The past is still present even in the present day news.
From ABC News: "Irene Boehm is convinced 'outsiders' have no idea
what the widows of Sept. 11 are going through... 'Who did I piss off in
heaven?' she asked ABCNEWS. 'What did I do to somebody in
SOME OTHER LIFE
that this is what I ended up with?' If not for her two children, Boehm
says, she wouldn't have gotten out of bed on Sept. 12. Thousands of families
like the Boehms were left sorting through their anguish and confusion after
the terrorist attacks."
"In an effort to aid the distraught survivors, New York Governor George
Pataki set up free group-counseling sessions through his 'Project Liberty'
program to ensure that families weren't left to journey through the grief
process alone... Grief counseling brings together people struggling to deal
with similar traumas and experiences, so they may learn from one another.
Each session allows the families to discuss their private thoughts and
feelings, those they've kept inside because others won't understand."
"Though their own anguish runs deep, what these women really worry
about is how Sept. 11 has affected their children... Providing a safe place
for the children to express their sorrow is the main goal of the guidance
center and the therapists who facilitate each session. Through yoga, singing
songs and playing games, the therapists help the children release their
stress and anguish."
What was remarkable about this program was the focus on actively
assisting the grieving process. The program assumed that time does not
heal, rather it is what those who grieve do in that time which heals.
By helping both adults and children to take responsibility for their
recovery, it unfolded more rapidly and harmoniously when compared to
the unassisted process following other major disasters.
For the whole story from ABC News: "Love and Loss: Victims’ Families
Face Grief With Inspiring Resolve" by Eric Salat.
The movie opens with Secret Service agent Doug Chesnic leaving his assignment
of three years: guarding former First Lady, Tess Carlisle. To the public,
who loved both her and her late husband, Tess is regarded as national treasure.
To those who share her private life, she is a domineering, patronizing woman
who micro manages her now shrunken domain with the same gusto as she used to
run the White House and the country behind the scenes.
Tess still gets what Tess wants: she wants Chesnic back and pulls
strings in Washington to get him back. Dutifully, Doug returns but with a
new mission: to run things "by the book" from now on... hoping that will
convince Tess to let him go. Their battle of wills comes to an abrupt climax
when Tess throws the entire Secret Service detail out of her house. After a
personal call from the President, Doug becomes reconciled to his position
and he makes peace with Tess.
The peace proves short lived. When Tess is kidnapped on Doug's watch,
he and his team seem headed for unemployment. Then Doug solves the mystery
behind her disappearance. Once he and his team locate and rescue Tess does
Doug earn the respect of both the government and (finally) the former First
From a spiritual standpoint, this movie is a perfect portrayal of
the paralyzing power of grief. Tess spends much of her time watching videos
of the glory days of her husband's Presidency or preserving newspaper and
magazine articles about those times.
The big event in her life is dedicating
the new wing of her husband's Presidential Library. The house is kept quiet
as if she is still in mourning. Nothing is changed in the house and everything
is perfectly preserved just as if her husband would be returning one day.
Putting so much attention on death, Tess finally manifests her own.
When she tells Doug upon his return that "she has an inoperable brain tumor",
she does it in such a way that he takes it as a joke. Only when she is
kidnapped, does Doug learn it was no laughing matter.
This rings true in
"real life" as cancer is often the price that people must pay for ignoring
the present by putting too much attention on the past by being a "dead
Many times people, like Tess, cannot put their grief behind them
because it serves to keep them connected to the loved one who has gone.
That is a false illusion... for what connects us to our loved ones is love
and not grief. No one who loves you wants your tears.
Remember, in the
words of Spencer Johnson, "yesterday is history, tommorrow is a mystery,
and today is a present... cherish the gift."
Thanks to those who helped to support our holistic business this
month. God Bless America and Canada... North America is our home and the
source of most of our wonderful clients to whom we are grateful for supporting
our work. Special thanks to international customers for their support this month.
Inspirational Quote for the Month:
"Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by,
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile, and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through, if you...
Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear maybe ever so near
That is when you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile."
GriefNet.org is "an Internet community of persons dealing with grief,
death, and major loss with 47 e-mail support groups and two web sites.
Our integrated approach to on-line grief support provides help to people
working through loss and grief issues of many kinds. The companion site,
KIDSAID, provides a safe environment for kids and their parents to find
information and ask questions."
You asked for it! The ever popular "Rules of the House" are now available
in eBook format! Let the Timeless Wisdom of Ancient Masters Be Yours! Get ANSWERS
to Life's Toughest Questions! Rules of the House Answers These... & MORE!
* WHY ARE WE HERE?
* Why do "bad" things happen to us?
* What is the purpose of our lives?
* What happens to us when we die?
* Is this brief span of life all there is?
* What happens to us between lives on Earth?