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Rules #29a: "Finding Selves Unimaginably Mine": Rules of Soulmates

"...losing through you what seemed myself, i find selves unimaginably mine; beyond sorrow's own joys and hopings very fears yours is the light by which my spirit's born: yours is the darkness of my soul's return... you are my sun, my moon, and all my stars."
- e. e. cummings

Bone of My Bone, Flesh of My Flesh

"Losing through you what seemed myself, I find selves unimaginably mine..." sums up how our Soulmates help us to learn and grow in love, joy, and awareness.

This is why the drive for union with one's "Soulmate" is so compelling, and so universal. To properly understand how our Soulmates effect us, we must first understand the types of "soulmates" that we will encounter in our journey as Soul.

Here are the Types of Soulmates:

Here's Our Soulmate Helps Us Grow As Soul...

#1: OUR SOULMATES HELP US TO BECOME DIVINE LOVE

We learn to love in the same way we learn to do anything else. We start with simple things and work our way to the more advanced. In other words, we start by learning to love our "Bashert" which is the easiest person in the universe to love. We advance by learning to love "our partners in love". We graduate by learning to love "our partners in hate". In the end, we learn to love everyone as well as we love our "Bashert" because, in the larger scheme of things, we are all one.

It is easy to love our "Bashert" because, of all the Souls in the universe, they are the true other half of ourselves. This is not to say that we will never experience any difficulties with our "Bashert" (we will). The difference is that our "Bashert" stands closest to the wellspring of all our love... which is God/Goddess/AllThatIs. Since our "Bashert" occupies that central space in our universe, they can "push us" like no other into taking our ability to love to ever deeper levels.

When we are with our "Bashert", we find that we are overwhelmed by love. Their love is like sunshine constantly beaming it's warming rays of love on our Soul and nourishing us so that we can be the best we are capable of being. Living in that love opens our hearts to everyone and everything around us. We come to feel that "all's right in the world" and, because we feel that way, all becomes right in our world. We are in love all the time so that we can be love all the time. It is in this "being love all the time" that we grow eventually to "become Divine Love." And it is this love that lies at the beginning and end of our journey as Soul through the universe.

#2: OUR SOULMATES HELP US TO FIND JOY IN EVERY MOMENT

When we are with our "Bashert", our life is better even if it does not change at all in any outward respect. We find ourselves better able to bear things we would find unbearable on our own. Jobs that we hate do not seem so burdensome. People who bother us seem less annoying. Chronic health problems seem easier to endure. Our "Bashert" makes us glad to come home and sorry to have to leave.

Just knowing that there is someone out there who is on our side no matter what we do, who will support us no matter what happens to us, and who will always totally understand our point of view no matter how others choose to misunderstand us eases our journey immensely. By helping us to love, our "Bashert" leads us to our joy. Our unconscious knowledge that endless joy is out there for us just waiting to be discovered is what compels us to seek out reunion with our "Bashert".

#3: OUR SOULMATES HELP US TO CONNECT WITH OUR TRUTH

Often what some view as difficulties with their "Bashert" is when they help us to our own truth. For they know us so well that there is no room in this relationship for anything but truth. The moment we deviate from our truth our "Bashert" is there to catch us and gently tap us on the shoulder to remind us that we have deviated.

They do this not because they are the "Karma Police" but because they want what is best for us. And what is best for us is always based in the truth. Since our "Bashert" stands so close to us and yet outside of us, they can see it better than we do. And because we love them so very much, we are ready to listen to the truth from them in a way we would not listen to others.

#4: OUR SOULMATES HELP US TO FIND OUR TRUE COURAGE

Looking from the outside, others often believe that our destiny was so obvious as to be inevitable. Yet the truth is that destiny is seldom obvious and never inevitable. It takes courage for anyone to go out and claim it. Often, it is our "Bashert's" love, help, and support that gives us the power, the courage, and the ability to go out and claim our destiny. Their belief in us helps us to believe in ourselves especially when all others around us are discouraging and/or sabotaging us. Their love gives us the courage to "press on" when we find nothing else inside to keep us going.

#5: OUR SOULMATES HELP US TO LEARN TO TRULY TRUST

Beyond courage, trust is essential for us to claim our destiny. For if we did not trust that it was at all possible to turn our dreams into reality, we would never pursue them in the first place. There is nothing so inspirational as to look deeply into the eyes on one's "Bashert" and see there how you can do anything that you have resolved to do. There is nothing so vital as to know that even if you fall, you will land in the open arms of your "Bashert" and all will be understood and accepted.

For it is this unconditional pool of trust that underlies all accomplishment and enables us to dare, to try, and to succeed or fail after having given it our all. It is this trust that our "Bashert" always has our best interests at heart that helps us to expand this trust outwards to others, to the universe, and to God.

#6: OUR SOULMATES HELP US TO LIVE OUR PURPOSE IN LIFE

When each of us comes to the Earth, we come with several purposes. We all come with general purposes to unwind our karma, to come into closer relation with God (which is true even if we choose the path of an atheist!), and to grow in love, joy, and awareness. Yet we also come to fulfill a special purpose in life, one that we are uniquely suited to fulfill, one that is our destiny.

So if we are fortunate enough to find our destiny and courageous enough to embrace it, there is still the matter of "staying the course". Living one's destiny - day after day, year after year, life after life - is made possible - and even joyful - if one is permitted to share it with one's "Bashert"."For when two hearts as one unite, the road is made easier, the burden made light" (Amish Proverb).

#7: OUR SOULMATES HELP US TO MANIFEST ABUNDANT LIVES

Only when our lives are full of love are they truly abundant. For "money cannot buy happiness... it cannot even rent it", it can only fill one's life with experiences and possessions that are incomplete without another to share it with. The simple truth is that one can be happier living with their "Bashert" in a hovel than with royalty they do not love in a Palace (like Princess Diana).

#8: OUR SOULMATES HELP US TO BECOME CLEAR CHANNELS

As we pursue our destiny, seek our fortune, and walk our path, we gain the experience we need to become fully realized CoWorkers with God. When our "Bashert" loves, helps, and support us on our journey through life, they are actually helping to prepare us for this greater destiny. As they help us to see ourselves more clearly, they help us to see the world more clearly. In turn this makes us clearer channels in spreading the Divine Love God has for everyone to those around us.

#9: OUR SOULMATES HELP US TO "KISS: KEEP IT SIMPLE"

Particularly as we succeed along our path, we encounter temptations to "believe our own press" and to think that "we have become larger than life." Our "Basherts", knowing us all too well, help to keep us grounded and to "keep it real". In other words, to "KISS" us - to "keep it simple, stupid!" There is nothing like a "swift kick in the butt" from our "Bashert" to put us on the right track!

#10: OUR SOULMATES HELP US TO BECOME GENTLER

The Golden Rule would work so much better if it read this way: "Do unto others as you would do unto the person you loved most in the world, your 'Bashert'!" The overflowing love that we have for our "Bashert" is often what enables us to develop our own qualities of gentleness and compassion. Loving them as we do, we cannot help but be gentle and compassionate with our "Bashert". The more we learn to treat them with loving kindness, the more we can treat others with gentleness.

#11: OUR SOULMATES HELP US TO LEARN GRATITUDE

Once you have been reunited with your "Bashert", you cannot help but be daily grateful for the blessing of having them in your life. Being permitted to spend your life with your "Bashert" is the greatest gift that can be given to anyone in any given lifetime. If you are fortunate enough to be presently reunited with your "Bashert", stop now and give thanks for the miracle and the gifts they are giving you daily. If you are presently parted, stop now and express gratitude for knowing that such a person exists for you somewhere in the universe and for someday being reunited.

#12: OUR SOULMATES HELP US TO ACHIEVE BALANCE

Being balanced means becoming truly ourselves - "finding the selves that are unimaginably mine" by becoming first fully Self Realized and then fully God Realized. For that is the greatest gift that our "Bashert" bring us: allowing us to see and embrace the full totality of ourselves through their eyes.

For as our "Bashert" loves us, do we truly learn to love ourselves, do we truly see ourselves in a balanced way, and do we truly come into our own. In balance, we are neither "narcissist" (loving the self too much) nor "masochist" (loving the self too little). We are "whole being" appreciating ourselves simply for all of who and what we are over many lifetimes... the core essence of ourselves. We see ourselves as our "Bashert" has always known us to be.

So what we are doing for our "Bashert" as they are doing all this for us? We are helping them in the same way... our love for them makes it easy and natural for us to do so. I know this is true... for these rules have sprung from the deep love my "Bashert" and I have shared through many lives. For that I thank you, my dearest!

Notice the parallels between how our Soulmates help us to grow in love, joy, and awareness and the Hallmarks of the Spiritually Advanced.

Click here for "Famous Quotes on Soulmates!"