Exercise: Letters of Indignation, Ending Relationships Once and For All
Summary: Energetically Achieving Closure to a Relationship with Another
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Background on This Exercise
Background: We are all here to teach one another lessons and to learn lessons from one another. In the course of this learning, people will come in and out of our lives. When people come into our lives, it is usually an easy welcoming process. When people leave our lives, the departures are not always so pleasant. Often we spend too much time pondering, cursing, or regretting their absence from our lives.
Goal: The purpose is to achieve closure with people who have departed from your life WITHOUT seeing or speaking to them. This exercise brings the energy of completion to the relationship. It allows you to express - once and for all - what you wished to say to the person if you had the chance. It then releases the energy of closure and completion to the universe. Since at the level of pure energy, we are all one, you will feel the sense of closure and peace with the other person.
All you need is a lighter, a blank piece of paper, a pen or pencil, and a quiet place and time to do this exercise. See also "Letters of Transformation".
1> Get into a comfortable position, close your eyes, and take some deep breaths (it should take you no more than 3 minutes to get comfortable).
2> Get clear on what it is you wish to write about the person. It can be a letter or just phrases describing what the person did or said that you do not like or felt was unfair. The purpose is to get down on paper everything you need to say to bring closure to your relationship with that particular person (to end it forever).
3> The letter can be in any form that can move you from the point of stuckness (usually anger and blame) to a place of resolution (usually forgiveness and peace).
If you really do not want to end the relationship, then take the energetically healthy step of deciding to transform the relationship once and for all to make changes you need to contiune with it (see "Letters of Transformation"). If you are "stuck" for something to write, below are examples of "letters of indignation" from "real life".
4> Write until there is nothing more you have to say. To cover anything you might have forgotten to say, put the words "and Anything Else I Forgot to Say" at the bottom of the page. The point is to put the past down so you can put it behind you.
5> Take the piece of paper containing all this "letter of indignation" and burn it completely. The releases the energy of the intention to the universe. Know that at this moment - at the level of Soul - the person absolutely received your message and completely understood it from your point of view.
6> Close your eyes. Imagine yourself sitting in a chair facing the person you have just achieved closure with. Tell them: "I forgive you so that I can move on in my life without you." If there is anything else that you want to say to them, now is your last chance. When you are finished, say "Goodbye". Know it is OVER.
If you cannot find the words to express your feelings, below are some sample "Letters of Indignation" which should give you some ideas. If they seem to adequately express your feelings, feel free to use them.
For the Overburdened:
To Everyone in My Life Who Expects Too Much from Me,
Why is it always me? Why am I always the one who has to carry the burden for everyone else? It's not fair: it keeps me weighted down and keeps everyone else from doing their share. It is too much expect that I always am the only one who can solve the problems, fix what is broken, heal what is hurting. I just can't do it anymore. And even if I could, I don't want to do it all anymore.
I don't need to prove anything to anybody to myself or to God. I'm tired of paying for everyone else's mistakes. I refuse to carry that responsibility any longer. I am only accountable for my own actions and my own feelings and not to make the whole world be better. I get tired and I deserve a break physically and cosmically. So (fill in names of family, friends, co-workers, etc): you are on your own!
(Sign Your Name Here)
For those whose Marriage has come to an End:
To the One I am No Longer Wish to be Married to,
I have given you all I can but our time together is over. I give myself permission to sever the legal ties binding us. I must let you go on your way without me. I will go on my way without you -- along a path where you cannot follow.
From today forward, I will only allow people onto my path who will respect who I am, honor my boundaries, give and take reciprocally, and cherish my love. My highest prayer is that I will act towards others respectfully, appropriately, and with love in all my relationships. So I sincerely wish you all the best.
I hope you find peace, happiness, love and joy on your path. But, if you do, it will be without me. I gave my word at our wedding to love, honor, and protect you. I did my best to honor my word. I would like to think that you did the best to honor yours. But I cannot live with you and give you what you want.
So I thank you for helping me to learn more about who I am and to know what my boundaries are. The past is done and I am not chained to my word. Out of respect and love for myself, I break the chains binding us and throw them down. This frees us both to become who we are.
(Sign Your Name Here)
For Friends who have Taken Advantage of You:
To my Former Friend,
I want to thank you for all your have given me since we met. I have learned much from you and I will always be grateful for our time together. I am especially thankful for the example you gave me of someone who knows how to treat themselves well and expects the universe to do the same for them.
This has caused me to make several beneficial changes in my life in my dealings with others. In the past, I have always fallen into a pattern that has been very unhealthy for me. The pattern is that I try to help my friends to the best of my ability. At first, friends are grateful for my help. Then they grow to expect it. Then they get angry if it is not delivered in exactly the manner that they want, believing that what I had been doing as favors are now my obligations to them.
I feel that our friendship has fallen into that pattern. After thinking about our situation, I have decided that I would rather have no friends in my life than friends who cannot treat me with the respect and courtesy that I am due.
I cannot attract the relationships I want in my life if I always engage in friendships where I am not treated as I would wish. So I think it is for the best if we went our separate ways. This frees us both to spend time with others more congenial to us.
(Sign Your Name Here)
For more help, try out our "Feedback Note Generator" by clicking here.
If you come up with some good "Letters of Indignation", please share them with us. If you do, please keep the following things in mind before you submit them.
1> Remove all names from these letters so that your privacy and the privacy of the people you are writing to are preserved (I am sure neither of us want bad karma.)
2> Remove all wording about specific incidents between you and the others. Just include the wording that would be of general interest to others.
3> Keep your submissions positive and the more generic, the better. Be sure to use words that honor you and the other person involved. The point of this exercise is to detach with love.. hate just keeps you bound up in the chains of karma and "aren't you tired of that already?" Email email@example.com
Credits: adapted from an exercise by John Randolph Price
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Past & Now Forward Holistic Counseling,