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Exercise: Running the Gauntlet to Find the Enemy Within

Summary: Find Out if You are Your Own Best Friend or Worst Enemy

For Quick Access to This Exercise:

To get to the parts of this exercise you are most interested in viewing, click on the link below to go there. For best results, read through the entire exercise at least once.

Background on This Exercise
Goal of This Exercise
Preparation for This Exercise
How to Do This Exercise
Example of Exercise Results

Background: "Get busy living or get busy dying" (Shawshank Redemption): that is what life is about. At every moment, we are choosing either life or death. We choose life when we honor ourselves by making empowering choices, by having life affirming emotions, and by seeing ourselves "positively". When we do not, we are - in essence - choosing death. By our choices in life, we can be our own best friend or worst enemy. It begins inside with the beliefs and thoughts we choose.

Goal: The goal of this exercise is to determine if a "revolution from within" is needed. This is achieved by "running the gauntlet" of common experiences and emotions to see how you "measure up" to life's challenges. You cannot choose life-love and death-fear at the same time.

To make better choices, you need to know where you are right now. If you are filled with negative thoughts and beliefs, you need to know that so that you can unlearn them. For only when you can think and act from a place of love, can you be at peace with yourself, with others, and with God.

Preparation: All you need is a blank piece of paper, a pen or pencil, and a quiet place and time to do this exercise.

How to Do This Exercise:

DO it quickly: Take the FIRST answer you get!

1> Rate yourself as to the "self images" you hold and "emotions" you experience:

Empowering Self Images	Empowering Emotions	Disempowering Self Images	Disempowering Emotions
___ Self Accept	___ Action	___ Self Abuse	___ Anger
___ Self Approval	___ Acceptance	___ Self Conceited	___ Blame
___ Self Assured	___ Clarity	___ Self Conscious	___ Criticism
___ Self Confident	___ Confidence	___ Self Contempt	___ Depression
___ Self Control	___ Contented	___ Self Criticism	___ Despair
___ Self Discipline	___ Empathy	___ Self Deception	___ Dishonesty
___ Self Discovery	___ Enthusiasm	___ Self Defeating	___ Fear
___ Self Examine	___ Faith	___ Self Denial	___ Guilty
___ Self Expression	___ Gentleness	___ Self Destruct	___ Hate
___ Self Help	___ Hope	___ Self Fearful	___ Inadequacy
___ Self Improve	___ Humble	___ Self Hatred	___ Jealous
___ Self Love	___ Kindness	___ Self Shame	___ Lethargy
___ Self Preserve	___ Joy	___ Self Inflicted	___ Lies
___ Self Protection	___ Laughter	___ Self Judgment	___ Loneliness
___ Self Reliance	___ Love	___ Self Limiting	___ Meanness
___ Self Respect	___ Relaxed	___ Self Mutilating	___ Nervous
___ Self Satisfaction	___ Respect	___ Self Pity	___ Prideful
___ Self Starter	___ Responsible	___ Self Righteous	___ Regret
___ Self Sustaining	___ Truth	___ Self Sabotaging	___ Sadness
___ Self Worth	___ Trust	___ Self Sacrificing	___ Shame
___ Total (+A)	___ Total (+B)	___ Total (-A)	___ Total (-B)
___ Final (+A+B)	Image+Emotion	___ Final (-A-B)	Image+Emotion

2> Rate yourself as to the "personal statements" that you feel apply to you now:

I AM Personal Statements	"I AM NOT" Personal Statements
___ I am a good person	___ I am not but could be good
___ I am a positive person	___ I am not but could be positive
___ I am a loving person	___ I am not but could be loving
___ I am a joyful person	___ I am not but could be joyful
___ I am a confident person	___ I am not but could be confident
___ I am a trustworthy person	___ I am not but could be trustworthy
___ I am a strong person	___ I am not but could be strong
___ TOTAL(+): About Me	___ TOTAL(-): About Me
___ I respect myself	___ Others are more important than I am
___ I will be who I am	___ I will be who others want me to be
___ I affirm my worth/goodness	___ Others affirm my worth/goodness
___ I acknowledge my needs	___ Others to acknowledge my needs
___ I forgive myself	___ I do not easily forgive myself
___ I am tolerant of my mistakes	___ I can never forgive my mistakes
___ I am a friend to myself	___ I do more for others than I do for me
___ TOTAL(+): About Self	___ TOTAL(-): About Self
___ I am loved by others	___ I am not but could be loved
___ I trust people	___ I do not trust people
___ I am a friendly person	___ Others do not believe I am friendly
___ I make friends easily	___ I lose friends easily
___ I establish my boundaries	___ I let others do what they want to me
___ I express my feelings to others	___ It is hard telling others how I feel
___ I forgive others who hurt me	___ I find it hard to forgive others
___ I easily give/take with others	___ Others take too much from me
___ I am tactful with others	___ Others must "like me or lump" me
___ TOTAL(+): About Others	___ TOTAL(-): About Others
___ I love life & it is an adventure	___ I get through life & it is a struggle
___ Life's challenges energize me	___ Life's challenges wear me down
___ I am in control of my life	___ I am a victim of my life
___ I am in charge of my life	___ Others control my life more than I
___ I take full charge of my life	___ I may/not be in charge in the future
___ TOTAL(+): About Life	___ TOTAL(-): About Life
___ I love my body as it is	___ I do not love (---) about my body
___ I am comfortable in my body	___ I am not comfortable in my body
___ I treat myself with kindness	___ I do not treat myself with kindness
___ I enjoy leisure without guilt	___ I must always be doing something
___ I balance work and play easily	___ I use play-work to escape work-play
___ I touch others with gentleness	___ I am not always gentle with others
___ TOTAL(+): Physical	___ TOTAL(-): Physical
___ I like myself the way I am	___ I do not like (---) about myself
___ I am at peace with myself	___ I should be more/do more
___ I am calm and tranquil	___ My mind is always racing
___ I have great potential	___ I feel I have used all my potential
___ I value my mental abilities	___ My mind works against me
___ I can trust all of my thoughts	___ I do not trust ALL of my thoughts
___ TOTAL(+): Mental	___ TOTAL(-): Mental
___ I love myself the way I am	___ I do not love (---) about myself
___ I feel good about myself	___ I do not feel good about myself
___ I feel complete today	___ I feel I should have done more today
___ I feel happy and contented	___ I feel OK but not truly happy
___ I feel surrounded by love	___ I do not feel surrounded by love
___ I give and receive love	___ I find it difficult to express love
___ I am emotionally calm	___ My emotions are always stirred up
___ I am emotionally supported	___ My emotions work against me
___ I can trust all of my emotions	___ I do not trust ALL of my emotions
___ TOTAL(+): Emotional	___ TOTAL(-): Emotional
___ I make wise choices	___ I could have made better choices
___ I rejoice in my abilities	___ I rejoice in my possessions
___ I handle criticism with ease	___ Criticism makes me angry/sad
___ I handle conflict with ease	___ I avoid conflict at all costs
___ I face my fears confidently	___ I avoid my fears at all costs
___ I work to overcome my fears	___ I ignore fear rather than work on it
___ TOTAL(+): Self Mastery	___ TOTAL(-): Self Mastery
___ I am a resourceful person	___ I get by only when I have to
___ I am a capable person	___ I do most things satisfactorily
___ I am a responsible person	___ Others should not rely on me much
___ I am an independent person	___ I am not self supporting
___ I make decisions confidently	___ I do not always trust my decisions
___ TOTAL(+): Life Mastery	___ TOTAL(-): Life Mastery
___ I have a great future	___ Nothing much will change for me
___ I let serenity flow into my life	___ I am waiting for problems to happen
___ I look forward to each day	___ Today will be like yesterday
___ I feel great hope	___ I feel things will remain the same
___ I am optimistic and alert	___ I am pessimistic and wary
___ I must control myself	___ I must control others
___ I can make things happen	___ I just let things happen
___ I meet change without fear	___ I avoid change - I fear change
___ TOTAL(+): About Future	___ TOTAL(-): About Future
___ I am loved by God	___ I am not loved by God
___ I am a child of God	___ I am a child of man
___ I allow God to enter my life	___ I do not believe in God
___ I trust God's serenity	___ I do not believe God can help me
___ I believe God cares about me	___ I do not believe God cares about me
___ I am not alone: God is here	___ I am alone: God is never there
___ TOTAL(+): About God	___ TOTAL(-): About God

3> Calculate the TOTAL Score by filling in your results below.

___ FINAL(+): Image+Emotion	___ FINAL(-): Image+Emotion
___ TOTAL(+): About Me	___ TOTAL(-): About Me
___ TOTAL(+): About Self	___ TOTAL(-): About Self
___ TOTAL(+): About Others	___ TOTAL(-): About Others
___ TOTAL(+): About Life	___ TOTAL(-): About Life
___ TOTAL(+): Physical	___ TOTAL(-): Physical
___ TOTAL(+): Mental	___ TOTAL(-): Mental
___ TOTAL(+): Emotional	___ TOTAL(-): Emotional
___ TOTAL(+): Self Mastery	___ TOTAL(-): Self Mastery
___ TOTAL(+): Life Mastery	___ TOTAL(-): Life Mastery
___ TOTAL(+): About Future	___ TOTAL(-): About Future
___ TOTAL(+): About God	___ TOTAL(-): About God
___ TOTAL(+): ALL Above	___ TOTAL(-): ALL Above
___ Weighted: Total(+) x 1	___ Weighted: Total(-) x 2
___ GRAND TOTAL = Total of	Weighted (+) + Weighted (-)

Note: the "negative" statements are counted as TWO TIMES the value of the "positive" statements.

That is because it takes twice as much "positive" thinking to overcome the "negative" thoughts. The good news is that once the "negative" internal weights are gone, there is no limit to how your positive thinking will be able to transform your life.

4> Compare your GRAND TOTAL score to the ranges below to see where you ended up after "running the gauntlet" of your beliefs. The goal of doing this exercise quickly was to access the unconscious part of your mind that always tells you the truth about yourself. Remember: that for things to change, you must change. To effect lasting change, you must change your beliefs for they create your reality.

For Scores 819 to 318: Empowerment Range: You are the type that says "life is fabulous". You only have teeny, tiny, minor "blemishes" of negativity to clear away to make your wonderful life even more magnificent.

For Scores 317 to 0: Achievement Range: You are the type that says "life is good". It is good but it could be better because you have "blotches" of negativity you need to eliminate. You can tell what they are by looking at your results. You have enough self confidence to handle them on your own.

For Scores 0 to -585: Existence Range: You are the type that says "life is OK". It is only adequate because your negative beliefs, thoughts, and emotions have made it that way. You have several areas where negativity has taken root. You may need help from counselors to overcome these blocks.

For Scores -586 to -1287: Struggle Range: You are the type that says "life is hard". It is hard because your negative thoughts have manifested struggle for you everywhere in your life. You definitely need help from counselors.

For Scores -1288 to -1989: Disempowerment Range: You are the type that says "life is terrible". You are a virtual prisoner of your negative beliefs. For you "not feeling bad" would be a step up. You absolutely need to stop everything you are doing right now and get some counseling help!!!

Example: "It is your thinking that will change your life. Feelings come from thoughts. Start today to change your negative beliefs. You deserve it. Be good to yourself. Start being your best friend and stop being your worst enemy. Remember: Love makes all things new and the truth will set you free".
   - Mark Bedillion

Credits: adapted from "Alcoholics Anonymous: 12 Step Program" - www.12steps.org