Rules #22b: Living the Way of
Dharma by Fulfillment of Duty
"Through life let your principal object be
the discharge of duty." (Thomas Jackson)
From Karma to Dharma...
Karma
is designed to bring us all onto the way of
Dharma, the path of CoWorkership with God. The
"pain and suffering"
of karma are designed to teach us how to live
within the laws of karma. Learning to live a
karma free life
ingrains in us a deep and abiding respect for
the law so that we always stay within it's bounds. This becomes our
sacred duty.
For only by staying inside it's bounds can we
become free of it. Once we can handle this freedom responsibly, do we
get
off the road of karma
and move onto the path of Dharma.
The way of Dharma is the way of CoWorkership
with God in loving service to and respect for all life by the
fulfillment of duty.
"Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others,
and the delight in the recognition." (Alexander Smith)
Our "self duty"
is to grow in love, joy, and awareness by being,
doing, and having all that we can... as long as we respect the rights,
freedoms, and sacred space of others. Like many religious concepts...
this is easier said than done.
Here are some ways to fulfill your duty to
yourself:
*
Reverse Engineering:
Reverse Engineering is envisioning a desired end
state and then working your way back from the end to where you are now.
So when your life is at an end, what was it that
you wanted to be, do, or have?
If you are not on track for being, doing, or
having what you truly desire in the end, what would need to happen now
to get there? Then "just do it"... and let nothing or no one get in
the way of your dreams! This is your life - make the most of it!
*
Continuous Improvement:
Continuous Improvement is the conscious decision
to be, do, and create more each and every day. Be more loving. Do what
matters to you. Create and have more joy. Decide that today is and can
be better than yesterday. Commit to making tomorrow better than today.
Be open to new things that will expand your awareness. Stop waiting
for a future that may never come. Live in and live for today... for
you never know what tomorrow may bring!
*
Best Practices:
Best Practices are what other successful people
do that make them successful. Adopting them can really help you achieve
results quicker. If you want to be more loving, then model what other
loving people do. Seek out their advice as to how you can be more loving.
Discover what experts on love can teach you. Check in with your heart
to find what feels right. Check out with your mind to find what makes
sense. Expressing more love can only better your karma.
*
Quality Metrics:
Quality Metrics are measures which reveal if and
how well you have achieved your goal. If you want to experience more
joy, then what would bring you joy? How would you know that you were
feeling joy? What else could happen to add to your joyfulness? Is what
are you doing to create more joy working for you? Unless you have a
goal, you cannot achieve it. Until you measure it, you cannot believe
it. Until you act on it, you cannot live it!
"We loved so much and so deeply that we became
a 'Nation of Two'." (from "Mother Night")
Our "spouse duty"
is our next important duty. The sexual connection
between spouses is more than physical: it connects spouses mentally,
emotionally, and spiritually. For those spouses who truly love one
another, the "Nation of Two", over time, will truly become one.
Here are some ways to fulfill your duty to your
spouse:
*
United Front:
Spouses should present a "united front" wherever
they are. This should be apparent in how spouses discipline their
children, how they act in public with family, friends, acquaintances,
etc, and how they interact with one another in private. Over time,
spouses will notice others commenting on their unity.
*
Always Faithful:
"Keeping themselves one to the other, forsaking
all others, until death do they part" sums up the duty of spouses to be
faithful to one another. The duty of spousal fidelity is not just
physical: it is not just limited to sexual exclusivity between mates
and to adherence to their vows to one another. Each spouse has a duty
to keep the other in the forefront of their minds and in the deepest
places of their hearts, no matter what life brings their way.
*
Always Present:
Each spouse should act as if the other is always
present. This means that each spouse should not say or do anything that
they would not say or do if the other spouse was physically present.
This means that each spouse should trust that the other is always acting
appropriately when they are parted. The primary duty of spouses is to
put one another first, last, and always before children, family, friends,
and all others... no matter what life brings their way.
*
Always Loving:
More than anyone else, each spouse has the highest
duty to love the other. "Bone of each other's bone and flesh of each
other's flesh": that is how loving spouses should regard one another.
If you are looking to bring more love into your life, your duty is to
start first with yourself and next with your spouse. Being united,
faithful, present, and loving with your mate is your sacred duty.
"In preparing for battle, plans are useless, but
planning is indispensable." (Dwight Eisenhower)
Our "parent duty"
is to be mindful that our children will have
many friends in their lifetime... but only two parents. Parents most
often fail in their duty to their children by trying to be a friend
INSTEAD of being a parent (especially while their child is dependent
on them for financial support).
Here are some ways to fulfill your duty as a
parent to your children:
*
Teacher Not a Friend:
As a parent, your primary duty is to teach your
children to live resourcefully and independently in the world. This
means giving them rules to live by and enforcing those rules with
consequences for breaking them. This means that you must be a parent
first and a friend second for as long as your children are minors
(under the age of 21). If you are reluctant to do this for your
children, then remember life and karma will teach them their lessons
more harshly than you will.
*
Safe Haven:
Especially when your children are under age,
it is your duty as a parent to provide a safe haven for them. A clean
and comfortable house where each child has their own space is the ideal
way for any parent to create a safe physical haven. Add kind words
spoken to the child, powerful ideas communicated to them about how to
live life happily, and a pleasant emotional environment in your house
and you have created a safe and loving home. Those who fill their homes
with love for their children are fulfilling their duty as a parent in
the highest degree.
*
Correction:
Children need and want (unconsciously) to be
corrected when they have gone wrong. Although they will tell you that
they hate you for doing so... it is your duty to substitute your
judgment for theirs when what they are doing will end up harming
themselves or others. Remember: a child's brain is not done growing
until around age 21 so they are bound to make incorrect decisions well
before that time. The challenge for a parent is to allow their children
to learn from their mistakes while keeping those mistakes from having
lifelong consequences.
*
Cheerleader:
When children are safe, loved, supported, and
guided properly, they will still need to be encouraged. Even though
most children will not admit it, they will look to their parents first
for help and advice. A parent's place is to be in their child's corner
100%. A parent's duty is to help their child get what they need to
become the person they want to be and to do the things they want to do
in life.
"A journey of 1,000 miles begins with a
single step." (Lao Tzu)
Our "child duty"
is to grow up, separate from our parents, and
become our own person. Children most often fail in their duty to their
parent by being either a perpetual child or a substitute parent.
Children must become self reliant. After a certain age, they should not
look to their parents for financial support (but should always provide
emotional support).
Here are some ways to fulfill your duty as a
child to your parents:
*
Helper Not a Parent:
Children have a duty to grow up... and to help
a parent grow up along with them if necessary. In past lives, parents
had children because they were growing employees who would help with
the family's struggle to survive. Today, parents and children have a
unique opportunity to focus on loving one another better... and thereby
improve the overall quality of their relationship.
*
Safe Exit:
Especially when your parents are older, it is
your job, as a child, to help your parents make a safe and dignified
exit from life. Just as your parents took care of you when you were a
helpless child, it is your turn to help them when age and illness have
rendered your parents helpless. Just as your parents allowed you the
freedom to learn and grow, you must allow them to the freedom to live
their final days as they would wish. Above all, children must be
faithful to carrying out their parent's wishes, especially after they
have left their parental incarnation.
*
Separate Lives:
After children are on their own, they will live
separate lives from their parents. Unless parents and children choose to
live together, the expectation is that they will continue to live apart.
Parents must continue to be self reliant for as long as they are able.
Children have a duty to their parents to make sure they are cared for
(and this can be done while both live separate lives). If their parents
have health conditions that require professional medical attention, the
children are failing in their duty if they try to take care of their
parents on their own.
*
Comforter:
When parents are safe, loved, supported, and
attended to properly, they will still need to be comforted. Old age
is a difficult and scary process. A child's place is to be there for
their parents when age, illness, and incapacity become their parent's
daily reality. A child's duty is to help their parent get what they
need to feel comforted at the end of their life so that their passing
is pleasant.
"I die His Majesty's good servant... but God's
first." (More)
Our "civic duty"
is to follow karma which teaches your duty is
to yourself, your family, your friends, and your society in that order.
History has shown that those governments that insist on being first...
are those which will require you to put yourself last. Always remember
that all governments are supposed to protect and serve people, not
exploit them.
Here are some ways to fulfill your duty to your
government:
*
Know Your Priorities:
This sums it up:
"All for one and one for all." (Three Musketeers).
Remember that governments were created and still
exist to serve individual people, their families, their friends, and
others in society. When any government insists that you ignore what
your mind and heart are telling you about your duty to yourself, your
family, and your friends, it is time to question the authority you have
given it. This is why we were all given hearts and minds.
*
Obey What is Lawful:
This sums it up:
"Render unto Caesar (meaning the government)
what is Caesar's and unto God what is God's." (Bible: Matthew 22:21)
You do your civic duty when you... are a law
abiding citizen, respect the rights and property of others, pay your
bills and taxes - this is the drill of physical life. You will live
a happy one when you never see the inside of a police station, a
courtroom, a government office, or a hospital. Remember that is your
duty to obey what is lawful and to follow the law until it is changed
for the better.
*
Resist What is Awful:
This sums it up:
"Resistance to tyranny is obedience to God."
(Quaker Proverb)
You do your civic duty when you... remember that
human laws are part of the laws of the universe... and are in a constant
state of evolution. Laws change in response to the evolution of the
state of consciousness of the people they govern. Remember one of the
highest forms of civic duty is work to evolve the laws to become more
civilized, meaning to make the laws more fair, more just, more
compassionate, more tolerant, and, above all, more loving.
*
Change What is Possible:
This sums it up:
"Work to create the change in the world that you
wish to see." (Indian Proverb)
You do your civic duty when you... change what
you can from where you are. For example, this site, which strives to
teach others about karma, does so in hopes that this teaching will
improve the lives of all it reaches. As the Serenity Prayer teaches:
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things
I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom
to know the difference." (Reinhold Niebuhr)
"I looked into the face of my enemy and realized
we are they." (Anonymous)
Our "partisan duty"
is to chose sides. When we do so, we become
partisans: where we are an ally to one group and an enemy to another one.
The problem with choosing sides is that we are put in a position of
hating those we do not know... and so creating bad karma in the process.
Here are some ways to fulfill your partisan duty
in a karma free way:
*
Focus on the Goal:
Life often forces us to choose sides: whether
it is war, sports, games, or other situations of us versus them. Whenever
you are a partisan, you are trying to WIN at achieving a goal meaning
that you must cause your opponent to LOSE. Your duty as a partisan is
to focus on winning the goal using moral strategies and ethical tactics.
For example, soldiers who focus on holding their position while doing
the least harm incur less bad karma than those who focus on killing the
enemy in the most brutal and destructive way possible.
*
With Malice Toward None:
Whenever you are a partisan, there is a great
temptation to hate your opponent. If there is anything that creates
bad karma quickly, it is carrying hatred for others inside your heart.
You can win and you can cause others to lose without having to hate
them in the process. So "malice toward none" is the first duty that a
partisan must follow... if they want to achieve their goal of honorably
supporting their "side" without creating future bad karma.
*
With Charity Toward All:
Whenever you are a partisan, there are many
opportunities to show charity toward all. When you win, be gracious
to your opponent (never refer to them as your enemy as this only makes
you feel hatred for them). When you win or lose, let go any bitterness
you might have felt... leave all your negative feelings behind on the
field (and safely buried in the past). So "charity toward all" - allies
and opponents alike - is another partisan duty.
*
Learn from the Experience:
Remember that reincarnation works to ensure that
enemies from the past can become allies in the future and vice versa.
The highest duty of the partisan is to learn from their experiences so
that, at some point in the future, they can learn to love enemies and
allies alike with pure, unconditional love.
From Karma to Dharma...
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