From Soul#4: "Trust in Relationships"

Soul #4: Secret #57 of Soulmate Love

Pleasuring Secret: Before Sex
         Top 10 Sexual Trust Killers

Counting down... below are the top 10 things that will absolutely KILL trust between loving partners. Hopefully these are "no-brainers"!

10> Sex Without Love: Sex without love consists of having sex just because one of you is "horny", because it is time to do so, because you won or lost an argument, and so on. Unless you can enter into sex with love, you should not do it at all. Having sex without love too often is guaranteed to erode the trust between Soulmates.

9> Sex During Illness: If one or both partners are ill, then sex should not be attempted. Some women count their menstrual cycle as a form of illness. Sex really is not enjoyable unless bodies and minds are functioning normally. So be sure that your partner is well enough to make love before you start the sexual ball rolling.

8> Sex In Public: The public is not just strangers. The public - the one that really matters - consists of family members, especially children. Most children have a hard enough time grappling with their sexuality. The last thing they need is to get a live demonstration of sex from their own parents. So sex in public: just don't do it!

7> Sex During Pregnancy: You and your partner should consult your doctor to see when and what type of sex is safe to have during pregnancy. It is possible to damage the mother and the fetus by having intercourse. Loving partners will want to continue loving contact... but it is important that it always be done safely.

6> Sex With Voyeurism: Voyeurism is one mate allowing others to view their act of sexual intercourse without the other partner knowing it. Voyeurism is a real problem when sex can be taped... and the tapes can be copied, distributed, and uploaded to the Internet. There are no good uses for such tapes... just don't make them!

5> Sex With Multiple Partners: The sex act was designed for two loving partners. Introducing more people into the process creates an orgy. Orgies - like swapping, discipline, bondage, sadism, masochism, etc - are not about love: they are about power, control, physical gratification, experimentation, and anything but love.

4> Sex While Drugged: Between truly loving partners, drugs cannot do anything to enhance the loving experience. If one partner wants to use drugs to enhance sex, then that should be a great big red flag. Notice that most such drugs are called "date rape pills"... that should tell you all you really need to know about them.

3> Sex Resembling Torture: Love should not hurt - period. Pinching, slapping, grabbing, poking, cutting, burning, choking, digging in nails... all these are methods which resemble torture. None of these are loving actions. All of these are used in the torture process. Sex should be about love and pleasure and nothing else.

2> Sex During Infection: If you have sex with a partner while knowing you are risking infecting them with a sexually transmitted disease, this is a selfish pleasure that is not love. It is bad karma that is always repaid (in other words, those who infect a partner in one life, will get infected with a sexual disease in a future life).

1> Sex Without Consent: If any force is used before, during, or after sex, then the sex was not consensual. Rape is not the only form of non-consensual sex. Seduction, badgering, pressuring, threatening, cajoling, teasing, etc are also forms of non-consensual sex. Like disease karma, rape karma will be repaid in a future life.

Of all these, the issue of sex during pregnancy is the one most likely to surface in the Soulmate relationship. For example, in one past life, I was a VERY sexually active man. Before my wife got pregnant, we could not keep our hands off one another. Once she started showing, I backed off on all sexual conduct. I did not want her or our child harmed.

Her reaction to this came as a total surprise to me. One night, she tearfully asked, "Do you still love me, my dear?" "More than ever," I answered. "Then why have you ceased all your manly attentions to me?" I gave her my answer but she said, "You are so amorous (loving). How can it be that you no longer wish to kiss or caress me?" I held her close and said, "Because women with child must be treated with great delicacy so that their health - and that of the child - is preserved."

Today we know better... be sure to consult your doctor as to what is safe sexual contact during pregnancy.

From Soul #4: "Trust in Relationships" by Ellen Mogensen

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